Sometimes I miss her....

It's crazy how we're always changing...or at least I am.  For the past 2 years, I've dealt with the fact that I hated who I once was.  Literally hated.  In these 2 years, I've striven to be less confrontational, kinder, happier, and I've been successful...too successful.  In my fear of reverting back to who I once was, I became a total pushover.  I've allowed myself to be at the mercy of everyone else with little regard for what I actually want.  Tonight, I had an epiphany about that girl I hated so much....

She always cared enough to fight for herself.  

Was I really that bad of a person??  Or has this all been based on a select few people getting into my head?  The fact that said people still talk to me and make efforts to see me is definitely an indication that I wasn't that bad--and they still seem to take comfort in having me as a friend because they say they know I'll always having their backs.  They appreciated that I was willing to fight for them (and not in a violent sense!).

I have to be willing to fight for myself again.  I have to let go of this fear that I will become her again because it's really not a bad thing.  Sure, she had times when she was mean and kind of bossy, but she was also strong and feisty and passionate!  I no longer hate her, and over time I'm going to figure out how to balance her with this newer version of myself.