This could really take a while if I get too carried away...Obviously I'm thankful for every day God has blessed me with, and thankful for my Ryan, Terry, family and friends--but I can afford to elaborate :)
I'm thankful for Ryan's health!! I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that we went from 4 breathing treatments per day, plus a steroid plus a preventative ON A GOOD DAY to nothing....it seems like it was yesterday that I was riding in the ambulance with him and feeling so helpless and scared for him, and yet it's been almost a year now.
I'm thankful for being able to leave my job to be a stay at home mom. I love that I can be there to experience his milestones and make more memories with him by going to story times and other little cute toddler activities....I also love that I can sneak in a little nap of my own during naptimes lol
I'm thankful to have such an amazing husband that works hard and provides for our little family so that I can stay home.
I'm thankful that I don't have to deal with the daily insanity that used to come with my job....that place was TOXIC!!!
I'm thankful for our short-lived friendship with JT...without him, Terry would have never known about the position in Daytona being open and we would have never made it here. Maybe we'll make amends, maybe we won't, but either way his was absolutely vital in this transition.
Speaking of short-lived, I'm thankful for my little painting job right after I left probation. I feel like helped me feel more secure in my decision and helped me at least to get somewhat back in touch with my creative side.
I'm thankful for my new friends! There are some that I feel like I've known my entire life and some that are taking a little longer to really get to know...but either way, they've been essential to making us feel at home here. I'm pretty excited to see what the future holds as we all become more acquainted :)
I'm also thankful for my "old" friends!!! For the ones that have come to Florida to visit us, for the days I've been homesick and needed just some sense of familiarity, for the ones who gave us rides to the airport and are going to Sykpe us for a gingerbread house building this weekend--I'm so grateful!!
I'm thankful for our families. They're always so supportive of everything we do...not to mention both of our families are super-fun and always make life more interesting :)
I'm thankful for our condo....I love this place so much!!! I haven't loved a place this much since the farm house, and that's saying quite a lot!
I'm also thankful for being so close to the beach. I love talking the long way home and driving up the coast and watching the waves (and of course the road...).
I'm thankful for date nights! It's been awesome for our marriage to have time to go experience new things together again and get dressed up for each other....and Ryan loves his time with his grandparents :)
I'm thankful for my iPhone. My old phone really did suck.
I'm thankful for chocolate chip cookies, diet dr. pepper, chocolate milk, M&Ms, ice cream, and any other random junk food favorites of mine!
I'm thankful for Pandora Radio. Breaking Benjamin, Sick Puppies, Fenix TX, Five Finger Death Punch and Sexy and I Know It stations have been quite popular in the Jaeger household this year!!!
I'm thankful for Facebook--the family that I've been able to connect with has been awesome!! I would never have some of the relationships that I do now if it weren't for Facebook bringing everyone together.
I'm thankful for True Blood. Flippin love that show and hot vampire Eric lol...oh and How I Met Your Mother :)
Finally, I am thankful for new beginnings. I never realized how badly I (WE) needed this move.I really could list a ton more, but you know, I'd be rambling ;)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
In your dreams.....
It's been said that I'm often guilty of letting people/places/situations haunt me....and I'm not talking about Ghost Hunter haunts! I suppose this is 110% true. I don't even do it intentionally. I blame my dreams. I have 2 consistently recurring dreams....the house and the search.
The house is one where I'm returning to a very familiar place (where I grew up), and I'm trying to either find something or hurry up to leave before someone gets there. At this point, I love where I live so much that I don't really even think about that place anymore....I mean, its still hard to go within 5 miles of it when I have to (very rare that will ever happen now), but I don't feel like it's this horrible thing anymore. It's weird that my subconscious still clings to it...
The search always involves me looking for someone all night and either never finding them, or finding them and hugging them as tight as I can because I know the minute I let go they'll be gone again. There are 2 recurring people here, and it's no surprise that they're just as absent in my dreams as in real life. Then I wake up and want to talk to them and end up pissed off/hurt that the outcome of that attempt turns out exactly as expected.
I think on some level I just can't accept that I can't make things right in real life and my mind struggles to make up for it in my dreams. I don't really know what it will take to be at peace about it. I think I've done everything I possibly can on my end of the spectrum....and the reality is that the other side of the spectrum is predictable and unwavering, so I can't expect for some amazing change of course in the universe to take place and make everything all better.
I really re-opened myself up this past year....I wanted to be the type of person who didn't have to be so guarded all the time and to be more genuine about how I feel. Big mistake. I think I need to get back to where I was before, because that way people didn't really have an opportunity to hurt me. I wasn't a bad person for that. The only people who thought that were unworthy of an opinion about me in the first place. My willingness for 2nd and 3rd chances were overly-generous and completely undeserved.
I can't control my dreams....but I can be positive that the only effort in the future on my side will have to be in your dreams!
The house is one where I'm returning to a very familiar place (where I grew up), and I'm trying to either find something or hurry up to leave before someone gets there. At this point, I love where I live so much that I don't really even think about that place anymore....I mean, its still hard to go within 5 miles of it when I have to (very rare that will ever happen now), but I don't feel like it's this horrible thing anymore. It's weird that my subconscious still clings to it...
The search always involves me looking for someone all night and either never finding them, or finding them and hugging them as tight as I can because I know the minute I let go they'll be gone again. There are 2 recurring people here, and it's no surprise that they're just as absent in my dreams as in real life. Then I wake up and want to talk to them and end up pissed off/hurt that the outcome of that attempt turns out exactly as expected.
I think on some level I just can't accept that I can't make things right in real life and my mind struggles to make up for it in my dreams. I don't really know what it will take to be at peace about it. I think I've done everything I possibly can on my end of the spectrum....and the reality is that the other side of the spectrum is predictable and unwavering, so I can't expect for some amazing change of course in the universe to take place and make everything all better.
I really re-opened myself up this past year....I wanted to be the type of person who didn't have to be so guarded all the time and to be more genuine about how I feel. Big mistake. I think I need to get back to where I was before, because that way people didn't really have an opportunity to hurt me. I wasn't a bad person for that. The only people who thought that were unworthy of an opinion about me in the first place. My willingness for 2nd and 3rd chances were overly-generous and completely undeserved.
I can't control my dreams....but I can be positive that the only effort in the future on my side will have to be in your dreams!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Full Circle Week
It's been one of those weeks that started off overly analytical and ended with me being strangely at peace when it was all said and done. I read recently that in the best of circumstances, moving takes a 6 month minimum toll on your mind/body with trying to adjust to new surroundings and people, and that the effect is greater the farther away you go. Oddly enough, our 6 month mark is in 10 days, and little things like having a girl's night for the first time in almost a year, or running into people we know when we're out, or looking at my recent text messages and them all being from Florida people with the exception of 2 all seem to support that theory...we're completely settled here...which means that I need to stop clinging to the past.
It would be an understatement to say that I've been bothered by how no one really seems to miss us. Is that weird?? I mean, I'm sure people do, I don't feel like anyone like hates us or anything, but at times it has literally felt like we died when we left Georgia (obviously, there are exceptions to this and in no way is mine or Terry's family part of this...) I have warned all my new friends here about how I'm a fairly lazy friend--they're not going to hear from me every day and whatnot...and nothing has changed on that front with Georgia friends. I guess what bothers me is when I do put forth the effort, I either get nothing back or really short responses, like my dumbass little text took so much time out of that person's day to the point that I feel stupid for even saying anything in the first place. Sure, I'm a stay at home mom now, I do have more time on my hands, but I'm still not that type of person to sit around and text everyone all day. No one even calls to tell me someone died, was in an accident, had surgery, is pregnant, got fired, got a new job, got a new pet--nothing. I find out on Facebook or through online news websites. Likewise, no one really has a clue about me either. I typically only put good stuff out on Facebook and nothing too deep here, so it goes both ways.
I read something else that said it was pretty normal for friendships to not really last through moves because you can no longer experience things together in person. I kinda think that is bullshit. I could see if I had this huge social life in Georgia, but I really didn't. We occasionally had parties, occasionally went to dinner or lunch, but the majority of my social life was at work with my coworkers. I don't feel like moving really changed anything. If anything, we put in more effort when we go back to see people. The time we went before closing I was surprised at how people were mad at me for them choosing not to meet up with me last time and angry that it would be so long before we came back. If it weren't for our families....we would almost never go back.
All of this has not been to say that I don't love and miss everyone the same, because I do. There have been days that I've been homesick and tried to reach out and been blown off....and those were the days that wounded me the most. I just feel like everyone else has moved on, and it's ok that I have too. We all have our own lives. And who knows what the future holds? I
It would be an understatement to say that I've been bothered by how no one really seems to miss us. Is that weird?? I mean, I'm sure people do, I don't feel like anyone like hates us or anything, but at times it has literally felt like we died when we left Georgia (obviously, there are exceptions to this and in no way is mine or Terry's family part of this...) I have warned all my new friends here about how I'm a fairly lazy friend--they're not going to hear from me every day and whatnot...and nothing has changed on that front with Georgia friends. I guess what bothers me is when I do put forth the effort, I either get nothing back or really short responses, like my dumbass little text took so much time out of that person's day to the point that I feel stupid for even saying anything in the first place. Sure, I'm a stay at home mom now, I do have more time on my hands, but I'm still not that type of person to sit around and text everyone all day. No one even calls to tell me someone died, was in an accident, had surgery, is pregnant, got fired, got a new job, got a new pet--nothing. I find out on Facebook or through online news websites. Likewise, no one really has a clue about me either. I typically only put good stuff out on Facebook and nothing too deep here, so it goes both ways.
I read something else that said it was pretty normal for friendships to not really last through moves because you can no longer experience things together in person. I kinda think that is bullshit. I could see if I had this huge social life in Georgia, but I really didn't. We occasionally had parties, occasionally went to dinner or lunch, but the majority of my social life was at work with my coworkers. I don't feel like moving really changed anything. If anything, we put in more effort when we go back to see people. The time we went before closing I was surprised at how people were mad at me for them choosing not to meet up with me last time and angry that it would be so long before we came back. If it weren't for our families....we would almost never go back.
All of this has not been to say that I don't love and miss everyone the same, because I do. There have been days that I've been homesick and tried to reach out and been blown off....and those were the days that wounded me the most. I just feel like everyone else has moved on, and it's ok that I have too. We all have our own lives. And who knows what the future holds? I
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Lobster Bisque and Crab Races
It's been a good weekend!
Last night we went to Finn's with the neighbors downstairs. It was soooo good! They accidentally brought us out lobster bisque with our meal and it was AHHHHmazing....I've never had any with such large chunks of lobster in it. We've decided when we go back we're just going to order that for our meal (it's cheaper that way anyway!). We went downstairs and played pool for a while and listened to the band (The Click--they did a lot of GNR covers, Sublime, INXS, I liked them!).
Today we went to the Palm Coast Seafood Festival....we spent $12 on 4 coconut shrimp and some fries....so next time if we go we'll eat ahead! But I got to see the crab racing (which is really what I wanted to go for anyway lol), and my crab, #13, Freaky Jason with his cute little monkey shell, came in 2nd place :)
We're just relaxing now before Ry gets home...but it's going to be another busy week!
Last night we went to Finn's with the neighbors downstairs. It was soooo good! They accidentally brought us out lobster bisque with our meal and it was AHHHHmazing....I've never had any with such large chunks of lobster in it. We've decided when we go back we're just going to order that for our meal (it's cheaper that way anyway!). We went downstairs and played pool for a while and listened to the band (The Click--they did a lot of GNR covers, Sublime, INXS, I liked them!).
Today we went to the Palm Coast Seafood Festival....we spent $12 on 4 coconut shrimp and some fries....so next time if we go we'll eat ahead! But I got to see the crab racing (which is really what I wanted to go for anyway lol), and my crab, #13, Freaky Jason with his cute little monkey shell, came in 2nd place :)
We're just relaxing now before Ry gets home...but it's going to be another busy week!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
#26--Visit the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine.
This blog is going to be a lot more than crossing off #26 on my Florida Bucket List, so maybe I should just start where we left off!!
Terry's mom & sister got here just in time for Hurricane Sandy to really pick up the pace. One minute we were on the back porch talking about how it was windy, the next I realized something had changed and suggested we should go inside just in time for the porch to be drenched and the wind to go crazy. Instead of going out for dinner like we had initially planned, we stayed in and made chicken fajitas. We did walk down to the dock and took some pictures--yeah, sure it was kinda stupid to walk outside during a hurricane, but it was also reallllllly cool :)
The next day the weather was a little better, so we went to Daytona to look at the waves and ate lunch at Bubba Gump's. I also renounced my Georgia Bulldog fandom and switched over to the Florida Gators (I have caught much hell for it thus far from my GA peeps lol)....anyway, that night we all dressed up in our 80's outfits (Hazel had suggested earlier in the week that we bring the 80's back, and I agreed that it was an outstanding idea), Ryan in his Batman costume and went to the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine for their Trick-Or-Treat Night. It turned out to be a really good idea because we got to tour the whole farm (and see the albino alligator), pet hedgehogs, skinks, bearded dragons, gators and if we so chose, a snake--which I didn't--and we took our pictures with an baby alligator. On top of that, Ryan got stickers and candy and stuff while we walked around. I'll definitely keep my eye out for next year....
Sunday we went to Marineland which was also really cool. We got there in time to watch some groups interact with the dolphins (we got to see them doin' flips n' shit lol). Afterward we went to Mezzalunas for lunch and chilled the rest of the night...They left Monday and I still miss them!!!
The rest of the week has been filled with Ryan activities-- the book store, Halloween stuff at the library, the other library's festivities, etc. and we've spent some time with one of our friends. In case I haven't said it in a while, I absolutely love it here....
Terry's mom & sister got here just in time for Hurricane Sandy to really pick up the pace. One minute we were on the back porch talking about how it was windy, the next I realized something had changed and suggested we should go inside just in time for the porch to be drenched and the wind to go crazy. Instead of going out for dinner like we had initially planned, we stayed in and made chicken fajitas. We did walk down to the dock and took some pictures--yeah, sure it was kinda stupid to walk outside during a hurricane, but it was also reallllllly cool :)
The next day the weather was a little better, so we went to Daytona to look at the waves and ate lunch at Bubba Gump's. I also renounced my Georgia Bulldog fandom and switched over to the Florida Gators (I have caught much hell for it thus far from my GA peeps lol)....anyway, that night we all dressed up in our 80's outfits (Hazel had suggested earlier in the week that we bring the 80's back, and I agreed that it was an outstanding idea), Ryan in his Batman costume and went to the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine for their Trick-Or-Treat Night. It turned out to be a really good idea because we got to tour the whole farm (and see the albino alligator), pet hedgehogs, skinks, bearded dragons, gators and if we so chose, a snake--which I didn't--and we took our pictures with an baby alligator. On top of that, Ryan got stickers and candy and stuff while we walked around. I'll definitely keep my eye out for next year....
Sunday we went to Marineland which was also really cool. We got there in time to watch some groups interact with the dolphins (we got to see them doin' flips n' shit lol). Afterward we went to Mezzalunas for lunch and chilled the rest of the night...They left Monday and I still miss them!!!
The rest of the week has been filled with Ryan activities-- the book store, Halloween stuff at the library, the other library's festivities, etc. and we've spent some time with one of our friends. In case I haven't said it in a while, I absolutely love it here....
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