It was the first day of school senior year. I'm pretty sure I was rocking an atrociously large Spongebob shirt with my new blue jeans as I walked outside between classes. It was still hot outside, but it was absolutely gorgeous. As I turned the corner, we nearly collided and both of us instantly smiled, recognizing the faces of each other that had been for so many years such a comfort, and as quickly as it happened, reality washed over the both of us, our smiles faded and we diverted our eyes back down and continued on our paths.
It's so stupid now. SO SO SO stupid. If I could go back to that day, I would hug you, apologize even, and beg for a fresh start. If I could go back even further, I would have talked to you before we even got to that point. I wouldn't have let my anger consume me and destroy our friendship. Maybe we're better off, maybe we're not...but it's too late to even think about all of that.
It's just really really odd....after all these years, I still care, and I still feel that tug at my heartstrings when I hear of something trying or difficult in your life. I can only assume that it's because I would be there for you under different circumstances. I would still be that friend that you would talk to for hours and cry on my shoulder. I guess even though I disrupted the path we were on, the universe still tries to hold it together.
Anyway, I can't go back, only forward, and I can take what I've learned and never let it happen again. And for you, I continue to hope and wish you all the happiness in the world.
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